These people need new writers.
For example during arguments in a recent case Associate Justice Clarence Thomas had this to say while questioning one of the attorneys:
"Your argument reminds me of a story - A Chief Justice walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says 'Where did he come from?' and the parrot says 'I don't know. I woke up this morning and there he was.'"
Or in a ruling last month Associate Justice Scalia inserted this addendum:
"Clearly the ruling here has precedent in the case of the man who walked up to me on the street the other day and said he hadn't had a bite in three days -- so I bit him!"
And even recently installed Chief Justice John Roberts made this remark during his first appearance in the hearing room:
"It sure is hot in here."
"How hot is it?" the other Justices chanted in unison.
"It's so hot I saw a plaintiff suing a defendant -- and they were both walking."
Pretty lame humor, you must admit.
Except that parrot one, heh, heh. "There he was..." Precious.