Dick Cheney, Straight Shooter II

Rumor has it that the Vice President is now being recruited to represent the United States in the Winter Olympics. He is being asked to compete in an event where the USA is traditionally weak, the Biathlon. This is the competition that requires skiing and shooting.

Of course, as an 86 year old cardiac patient, skiing is not expected to be his strong point.

But anybody who makes an issue of it better duck!

Dick Cheney, Straight Shooter

New York Times Headline:

"Cheney Shoots Fellow Hunter in Mishap"

#

Snarky blogger's comment:

"Thank God nothing vital was hit."

Papal Dispensation

"Guess what?" said my wife, looking up from the newspaper, "The Pope says it is okay for married couples to have sex."

"That's interesting," I said. "You don't expect His Holiness to encourage sex."

"One odd thing, though."

"What's that?"

She buried her nose in the paper again. "For some reason he mentions you by name."

Karl Rove, Historian

Recently Presidential Advisor Karl Rove had this to say about the state of the union: "Republicans have a post-9/11 view of the world. And Democrats have a pre-9/11 view of the world."

Well, Mr. Rove, is it possible that Republicans have a pre-Bill Of Rights view of the world? And Democrats have a post Bill Of Rights view of the world?

Or maybe Democrats simply have a pre-Brain Dead view of the world?

Supreme Humor

There was an article the other day outlining some of the supposedly humorous remarks made by Supreme Court justices over the years. After reading this material I can only come to one conclusion.

These people need new writers.

For example during arguments in a recent case Associate Justice Clarence Thomas had this to say while questioning one of the attorneys:

"Your argument reminds me of a story - A Chief Justice walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says 'Where did he come from?' and the parrot says 'I don't know. I woke up this morning and there he was.'"

Or in a ruling last month Associate Justice Scalia inserted this addendum:

"Clearly the ruling here has precedent in the case of the man who walked up to me on the street the other day and said he hadn't had a bite in three days -- so I bit him!"

And even recently installed Chief Justice John Roberts made this remark during his first appearance in the hearing room:

"It sure is hot in here."
"How hot is it?" the other Justices chanted in unison.
"It's so hot I saw a plaintiff suing a defendant -- and they were both walking."

Pretty lame humor, you must admit.

Except that parrot one, heh, heh. "There he was..." Precious.