Tanning beds

There was an item on the news the other day saying the state assembly was considering a law that would prevent teenagers from using tanning salons. Apparently tanning beds can be dangerous if used improperly, and teens have trouble following the safety guidelines. Teenagers have trouble following rules? Stop the presses.

The story went on to say that even if the law doesn’t pass, at least it might encourage parents to talk about tanning bed use with their children. But after having The Talk about sex and The Talk about drugs I don’t know if I’m up to another Talk with my teenage son.

“Son, we have to talk about the dangers of tanning bed use.”

“Dad, you are such a hypocrite. You know you did tanning beds when you were my age.”

“Maybe I did, but tanning beds weren’t as potent then. Today’s tanning bed is 100 times more potent than they were in my day. And it’s expensive. Where are you going to get the money to support your habit?”

“They give you a free trial session to see if you like it.”

“Sure, that’s what they say. ‘Hey, kid. The first one’s free. C’mon, only the squares get hooked.’ Next thing you know you can’t get through the day without a visit to the 'Bronze Lady'. And government tests have proven that tanning beds can lead to other activities.”

“What other activities?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Health food. Pedicure. Yoga. Son, please don’t let this tanning thing get you.”

“Dad, I hear what you’re saying and I respect your opinion. But I have to make my own decisions.”

“Alright, son. But if you must use a tanning bed, for God’s sake do one thing for me."

"What's that, Dad?"

"Use a condom.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Preferably one that blocks UV rays.”

“Whatever.”

“And no wheat grass juice.”

“Gotta go, Dad.”