Friday, October 7

A Scientific Study

From the New York Times -- "In the early 1960's ... an employee of the tape recorder manufacturer Ampex decided to prove the value of consuming LSD. So he set up the International Foundation for Advanced Study and went about his project in classic methodical fashion. Test subjects were given a series of doses under constant observation and expected to take careful notes on their own experience."

I wonder what those notes looked like...

Journal of Dr. M______


I have now ingested an unspecified dose of lysergic acid diethylamide, also known as L.S.D. Thus far I am experiencing no no no discernible effects. However, only a few minutes have passed. I took the dose a 6:00 PM and my watch just told me it is 6:35.

Note for further study: I had no idea my watch spoke French, but --

WHAT WAS THAT?!!!


-- Nothing. Just a shadow. Just a shadiowiowiowiowiow! A shadioliolio. Shadow? Shadow? The Shadow Knows. Me And My Shadow Knows. STREE-O-LING DOWN THE AVENUE!

Note for further study: Why is it always that way?

******

It has now been one and one-half hours since I tasted of the fruit of the Pharmaceutical Demon. Pharmia-see-uti-calio. Pharma, pharma, pharma-The Pharmaceutical Demon, the Pharmaceutical Demon, HI HO THE DAIRY-O, the

SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT'S HOLY! WHAT WAS THAT?

Shadows again? Creeping shadows of doom...Shadows of my future...Dark, dark, so dark and indecipherable.

******

Now at the two hour mark.

Note for very, very, very important further study: ..... Oh, how important could it be?

Not as important as my inner soul screaming to be free, I can tell you that. Not as important as my very self shrieking VAINLY for justice and an egg cream. Not as important as the shadows of my unconsciousnessity. No, not that important. Not that important at all...Hey, where's my watch? Hallo, watch...Oh, there your are. How did you get over there? You walked? Ok

...HOLY MO...

no, I won't do that again. Oh no, I won't. I won't. Because. I. Don't. Want. To.....................................

*****




Final analysis
Evaluator: Dr. J_____
Phamaceutical Interaction Institute Conclusions:

Dr. M_______ reacted typically compared to other participants in the program, although he did have the most vivid responses of all the subjects who were given a placebo. It is suggested that he be observed closely in the future for any futher mainfestations of --

SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT HOLY! WHAT WAS THAT?

1 comment:

J.M. Byers said...

Now That is Funny! I took that stuff once or twice in my distant past. Figured out that I'd rather be in control of my body than not.