For Crying Out Loud

I was cruising around the radio dial the other night when I heard this statement come wafting across the airwaves:

"I didn't vote for Kerry because he shot himself in the leg so he could get a Purple Heart."

A year and a half after the election and they're still humping this lie? What's wrong with these people? It's not enough they won the election? Why do they still feel it's necessary to malign their opponent?

I guess they feel they can take pride in the fact that their candidate has never had any questions raised about his Purple Heart because ...

Oh, right. I almost forgot.

He was AWOL at the time.

re: Libby Gospel

Kathyr, a reader of my previous post, "The Gospel According To Libby", poses this conundrum:

"What about the 30 pieces of silver? Does Libby have to give them back?"

The answer, Kathy, is no.

In fact, because current political contribution limits allow payoffs donations of up to 1,000 pieces of silver, there are still quite a few pieces of silver left to be spread around.

Just thought you'd like to know.

The Gospel According To Libby

A judicial transcript, including the only known text of the Testimony of Libby, has surfaced and it portrays I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby not as a betrayer of President George W. Bush but as his favored disciple and willing collaborator.

In this text, scholars reported yesterday, the account of events leading to the release of classified documents differs sharply from previous administration statements. Here Bush is said to entrust Libby with special knowledge and ask him to pass this information to a New York Times reporter. By doing so, he tells Libby, "you will exceed" the other disciples.

"You will be cursed by the other generations, and you will come to rule over them," Bush confides to Libby according to the testimony, which was made public at a news conference at the United States Federal Court in Washington.

Though some pundits have hypothesized the "good Libby" before, reporters who have studied the testimony said this was the first time a legal document lent specific support to a revised image of the man whose name has recently been synonymous with treachery.

New analysts say the release of the document will set off years of study and debate. Already, some reporters are saying that this testimony sheds new light on the relationship between Bush and Libby, revealing strands of a secret political strategy running through the beliefs expressed by some branches of the Republican Party.

Movie Outlet

My wife and I drove up to Rhode Island over the weekend and on the way we stopped for a bite to eat at a Denny's I know just off of I-95. I only go to Denny's for the hash brown potatoes, which, despite its having over 40,000 restaurants, I have not found duplicated anywhere in New York City.

As we sat enjoying our food I happened to look out the window and notice that there was an outlet center across the street. A large sign listed the stores available and, at the bottom, a small notice said "Cinema VII".

I wondered what kind of movies would be showing at an outlet cinema so, after paying the astonishingly small check, we took a walk over.

Here is what I found.

• All the movies seemed to be either 29 minutes or 9 1/2 hours long ("Yeah, we had some 2 hours films last week, but they went pretty fast").
  
  
• Several came in only one color ("We've got Godfather III in red, House of Wax in green, and I Am Curious in yellow").
  
  
• Quite a few were missing some features that you think would be pretty standard ("Well, you didn't expect to get a soundtrack at these prices, did you?")
  

Unfortunately, we didn't have time to see a movie that day - although I was tempted by a silent, 29 minute, all blue version of Titanic - but as we drove away I made a mental note to stop on the way back just to check what the new inventory looked like.

Who knows? I might find a real bargain.

Yogurt

I confess. I like yogurt. I even have it for lunch once in a while.

Today I pulled back the aluminum seal, took in the tart fragrance, and then licked that thin layer that always clings to the foil. After my tongue had cleared away the viscous peachy paste, I noticed something printed on the underside of the seal.

"Check out sogoodgirls.com", it said. "Real women, real stories, real inspiration."

What's up with that? Don't they think real men with real stories eat yogurt? Is it just some kind of chick dish?

Well, I'm sorry Yogurt, but I can't have my masculinity questioned again. Even though I love you, I'm going to have to give you up.

So tomorrow for lunch I'll be having some good old manly cottage cheese.

And I'm not sharing it with my cat, either.