Water

For years Americans have had to suffer through water restrictions because of drought conditions in various parts of the country. But with record rain and snowfall in the last few years I look forward to a summer of gratuitous water use. I think it is only fair that citizens now be required to waste water for a while.

• Instead of SAVE WATER signs everywhere, how about some USE WATER signs.
• Every time you flush your toilet you should also have to wash your car and water your lawn.
• Wash your socks one at a time.
• Minimum shower time: 30 minutes.
• Top off the swimming pool often.
• And let’s see Al Roker floating around some reservoir somewhere saying, “Yep, it’s pretty full.”