Minority Report

I heard a news report this morning saying that married couples are now in the minority in America. And in Manhattan, where my wife and I reside, only 26% of couples are married. If you check the census tables that puts us just a shade below Latvians and just a smidge above Republicans.

Being a middle-aged white male I am unaccustomed to being a minority. It is an odd feeling, and quite frankly I'm not sure I'm prepared to deal with it.

First of all you have to come up with a catchy name for your "community".

What can you call the married couple community?

"The Wedded Party"?

"Spouses United For Peace And Justice"?

"The Conjugal Community"? Hmmm...

"We, the members of the Conjugal Community, demand respect and equal rights from the hedonistic, bachelorist exploiters."

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Then there is the slogan. You can't have a community without a slogan.

"Say it loud, we're legally bound to one another and we're proud"?

"No Justice of the Peace, No Peace"?
(Actually, in my case, "No Anniversary Present, No Peace" is probably more accurate. )

No, if you really want to get down to the nitty-gritty it's got to be, "Keep your hands off my married-filing-jointly tax break!"

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Well, slogan or no slogan, one thing is for sure.

I'm not moving to the back of the bus.

Unless, of course, my wife tells me I have to.