Friday, November 17

Borat

So far the makers of the movie Borat have been sued by College Students, an Etiquette School, and a Romania Village. The lawsuits all claim the plaintiffs suffered severe mental anguish and emotional and mental distress.

You know what caused me severe mental anguish and emotional and mental distress?

People with no sense of humor.

Thursday, November 2

I'm Sooooo Sorry!

I was at a dinner party last night during which I was asked to make a few remarks. I now feel compelled to issue the following statement.

First of all let me say that no one respects the Polish people more than I, and I would never intentionally do or say anything to offend them or their families. I simply botched a joke that did not come out the way I intended

I also apologize to the light bulb manufacturers of America and their families. I am certainly aware - and let me be crystal clear - that light bulbs are an invaluable invention and are in no way so complicated that more than one - and only one - person would ever be required to screw them in.

And to the members of the ladder community let me say that I do not and never have advocated, suggested or condoned moving or rotating a ladder in any way while someone is standing on it.

Thank you.