Wednesday, August 2

The Driving Of The Mel

When Mel Gibson was stopped for drunk driving he blew a .12 blood alcohol. The legal limit is .08 but even .06 can affect you. In fact according to the National Institues of Health here is how different levels of blood alcohol would affect a 185 pound man:
.06: Becomes very relaxed and even sleepy.
Begins to suspect some undefined ethnic group is
behind this.

.08: Judgment is impaired. Begins to notice people
wearing yarmulkes.

.10: Wonders exactly how you spell yarmulkes.
Because of this begins to resent people who
wear them.

.12: Experiences mood swings between a preternatural
need to drive a motor vehicle and an
uncontrollable desire to know who is responsible
for all the wars.

.14: Feels an irresistable urge to make insufferable
motion pictures.

.20: Realized he must meet with Jewish leaders for a
one-on-one discussion - and teach those bastards
a lesson once and for all!

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