Monday, August 29

Vacation Email

So I'm back from vacation. So I turn on my computer. So what is the first thing I see?

"You have 382 messages."

I have been approved for 87 mortgages.

I have won 23 stainless steel watches.

Thirty-seven girls named Tiffany want me to call them ASAP.

A total of 48 well meaning folks want to help me with the quality of my - how shall I put it? - manhood. I wonder if any of them is named Tiffany?

There are 7 people who want to be sure my teeth are as white as they can be.

Nineteen dieticians will help me lose weight.

Twenty-eight pharmacists will sell me anything from Ambien to Xenical without the annoyance of obtaining a prescription.

Seven banks sent a total of 103 messages warning me that my account is in danger of immediate cancellation if I don't send them my user name, password, social security number, and mother's maiden name.

And the very erudite, though grammatically challenged, Dr. Clement Okon of Nigeria has offered to transfer "...THE SUM OF $21,320,000.00 (TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS)...WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) BANKING DAYS" into any of one those bank accounts if I just give him the account number and PIN. I'm sorry, Dr. Okon, but the chances of that happening are zero (0).

I must admit, though, it is humbling to be so popular.

1 comment:

Xenical Prescription Medication said...

My name is Vanessa Fong and i would like to show you my personal experience with Xenical.

I am 44 years old. Have been on Xanax for 2 days now. Very expensive pills. Doctor didn't tell me about the extremely nasty and embarrassing side effects. I didn't stay on it long enough to see results because I couldn't stand the leakage any longer. However, I'm sure this stuff would have drained every drop of fat from my body if I could just live in the bathroom for six months straight. Now it's being marketed over the counter as ALLI. NOT recommended!!!

I have experienced some of these side effects -
Oily orange discharge & a chemical odor so powerful that my husband could smell it through my clothes (and I was wearing a pad!).

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Vanessa Fong