Tuesday, September 6

Hey, Don't Give Away The Ending

I’m getting just a little bit sick and tired of movie previews that give away the whole movie. The other night at the theater my wife and I had to sit through 20 minutes of previews, some of which were quite long and detailed. After watching these "coming attractions" it feels like you've already seen the movie.

Previews didn't used to be like this.

In 1941 you didn't see this preview for Citizen Kane : “In a world where a rich publisher dies, the last word he utters,'Rosebud', refers to the sled he had as a child. That's right, even though he's old and rich he still yearns for the simple days of his childhood when he played with his sled, 'Rosebud'. That's 'Rosebud'. The sled."

In 1950 you didn't see this Sunset Boulevard trailer: "Even though he's dead, he is still the narrator! That's right, he talks and talks even though he's laying face down in a swimming pool with three slugs in his back. The narrator. He's dead."

In 1960 you would not expect to hear these words coming at you from the screen: "You'll be shocked when the main character gets stabbed to death about 20 minutes into the picture by the motel owner who dresses up like his dead mother whose dried up body is sitting in a swivel chair in the basement. If anybody turns that swivel chair, hoo-ha are they going to be in for a shock. Because she's dead. In a swivel chair." Could you still appreciate Psycho as much after that?

Alright, I admit that previews today aren't quite that bad. And I also admit that current movies don't quite come up to the level of the classics. But for crying out loud,
at least have the common decency to try to retain some of the mystery, damn it! The movie going public deserves it.

Sorry if I seem overly preoccupied with this. I'm still pretty upset by that recent preview I saw.

It simply ruined The Dukes Of Hazzard for me.

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