Friday, November 11

It's Settled. The Earth Is Flat.

Recently several arbiters of education have decided that the so called "evidence" of the Earth being "round" is not evidence at all. It is, in fact, just a theory.

The theory of the round Earth.

To present a fair and balanced environment for the children who attend the schools for which they are responsible, they have made the only morally consistent decision they could and that is to teach -- alongside the etitist "Rounders" theory -- the equally valid yet mystical theory that the Earth is flat.

Flat Earth Theory -— sometimes called Flatism or Flatulence —- is the view that the Earth shows tangible signs of being flat. It has been around, in one form or another, since the time of ancient Greece. Flat Earth Theory is still a minority position, but even many scholars who disagree with it are intrigued by the idea—and can’t seem to get it out of their minds.

Last month this gnawing need for knowledge led to the first international Flat Earth Theory Conclave in Columbus, Kansas. Scholars from as far away as Switzerland and China were invited to come and discuss the reasons why the Earth must be flat.

Unfortunately, the conference was sparsely attended because the scholars from Switzerland and China, while on their way to Kansas, fell off the edge of the Earth and were never heard from again.

1 comment:

Mixter said...

"Flatulence." Heh!