Sunday, April 15

I-Steps for the I-Man

"My name is Don and I'm a shock-jock."

"HI, DON!"

"Don, why don't you tell us when was the last time you made an insensitive remark."

"Well, Howard, I've been sensitive for several days now."

"That's good news..."


"That's good news, Don. How has it been going?"

"I'm just taking it one day at a time, Howard. One freaking day at a time..."

"And, Don, tell us what steps you have taken to stay clean and sensitive."

"First I had to admit that I was powerless to resist being crude and insensitive."

"How powerless, Don?"

"Well, I guess about as powerless as a one-armed paper hanger, Howard. Then I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity."

"And who was that greater power?"

"The Reverend Al Sharpton."

"And did a power greater than yourself restore you to sanity?"

"Not really. I'm going from here to the unemployment office."

"So have you learned anything from this experience."

"Yes. I learned a little prayer that I recommend to shock-jocks everywhere. It goes like this:
'God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot insult;
courage to insult the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.'"


"Oh, shut the f&*# up."

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