My wife insists that I've been snoring lately but of course she's wrong. I don't snore. Once in a while I might breath heavily, but snore? I don't think so.
However her illusion has lead her to prod me at night and mutter "Roll over" or some other directive ("Quiet", "Move", "Lay on your stomach"). I always do my best to humor her.
This morning, however, there was a gross miscarriage of justice. Our clock radio went off at 7:00 as usual and the NPR station to which we like to wake was running a story about, I think, hog farms in China. It is common in these radio news features for the reporter to include some ambient sound in the story to give it a sense of place. In this case the ambient sound was that of hundreds of hogs grunting and grumbling as they fed on their daily portion of slop.
"Roll over", I heard the love of my life growl sleepily.
"Hey", I protested. "That wasn't me."
"Yeah, right", she replied as she settled in for a few more winks.
"No, really..." but by now I could tell she was back to sleep because of her slow, steady breathing.
Actually, I think her breathing is getting to be just a little bit heavy.