Monday, April 21

The Big 4 Or 6 - 0

There is a new reality show coming up called The Big 4-0 in which participants who are approaching the age of 40 engaging in activities designed to demonstrate that they are not approaching the age of 40.

Since I have recently completed three score years of life, I was wondering why they don't do the same thing for people approaching the age of 60.

What might people do when facing the big 6-0?

Based on my recent history I'd say one important thing to do is to file for unemployment, because even if you're not unemployed at the present, you soon will be.

I still can't believe those bastards fired me!

Another thing to do would be to start shopping for an good analgesic, because there is one thing about Sixty that is undeniable.

It hurts.

Whenever I see one of those movies where an older person and a younger person trade bodies, I always think the first thing the younger person should say is "Ow! My knees. For God's sake, what's wrong with my knees!!!!".

Another plan: Eat Meat. Eat a lot of meat. While there is still time.

Some pundits say that 60 is the new 40.

These pundits have never been 60.

1 comment:

Doug M. said...

I got the drop on the bastards. I'm 57, and I haven't had a job in years. If you don't work for someone, they can't fire you.

But you are right about age hurting. I walked one simple mile about two hours ago, and my legs still ache.

And of course, you're married. But speaking as an older single gentleman, I just don't understand why people don't find me as sexually desirable as they used to. Why are they reacting to that old fart who lives in my mirror instead of the handsome hot me in my old photos? After all, I'm just as good in bed as I used to be, sometimes for as long as five or six minutes. Stamina. I had some around here somewhere. where did I leave it? And could we find a position that's not so hard on my knees? no. That one hurts my back. Turn this way a little... Ow!

But I'll say this for being our age. It beats the heck out of taking that alternate route that certain of our friends took, that of simply not aging, by dying in their prime. They'd have loved DVDs, and discovering that we actually managed to get a president even worse than Nixon. And if O'Bama gets elected, I want to wake up my dead, bigoted Uncles Frank and Fred, and rub their noses in it.

I'd write more, but my fingers are tired. I need a nap.