Senior Vacation

My wife and I just returned from a brief vacation where I was shocked to discover that I have somehow reached an age where I qualified for what are called "Senior" discounts. Normally I'm all in favor of saving a little money, but on this trip I struggled with the trade-off between gaining a discount and admitting I'm old.

At one eating establishment, for example, the dishes listed on the Getting On In Years menu were only a few cents less than those on the In The Prime Of Life menu. It didn't seem worth the humiliation of ordering an egg white omelet and low sodium turkey bacon so I paid full price for three-egg yolkified omelet and extra porky bacon.

Later we wandered into an amusement park which claimed to be fun for Kids Of All Ages. Discount for Older Kids Of All Ages: $2. Not worth it.

Finally we went to see a movie where the Elder Statesman Discount actually amounted to several dollars and, I decided, well worth revealing my secret shame. When I asked for the discount ticket the young man in the booth, whose concerns about anything to do with age I'm sure revolved around the purchase of alcoholic beverages, replied "No way, man. You don't get the discount unless you're over 60." Somewhat flustered I muttered, "Well, I am over 60." "I don't think so, man," he challenged. There was an awkward pause, then I replied, "Okay, bro', you got me. I thought I could fool you but you're way too smart for me." I forked over the full admission price.

And I didn't mind at all.