After reviewing some of my recent posts I noted that my vocabulary had become somewhat limited. I read somewhere that most people only use about 100 words on a regular basis and I feared that I had become one of those people. I had to admit to myself that I was in danger of being, oh what's the word, you know kind of like dull but more like "not shiny"?
Never-mind, I'll think of it.
To help myself out I downloaded an app on my phone that sends me a new word everyday so I can punch things up.
Ha, I used the word "punch" just now. I haven't used that word in ages, so I think it's benefiting me already.
Ha, I used the word "punch" just now. I haven't used that word in ages, so I think it's benefiting me already.
After a few days collecting new words, I had to go to the drug store to pick up some cold medicine. My pharmacist, Dr. Connors, is a little bit imperious (Ha! Another one!) so I was looking forward to impressing him with my new lexicon (Bam!).
I approached him and boldly said, "Salutations, Dr. Connors. I have gonorrhea in my olfactory organ."
He looked doubtful. "You have a sexually transmitted disease in your nose?"
I paused a moment while I quickly checked my phone. "I mean rhinorrhea. Yes, that's it. rhinorrhea in my olfactory organ"
"So you have a runny nose in your, uh, nose?"
I paused a moment while I quickly checked my phone. "I mean rhinorrhea. Yes, that's it. rhinorrhea in my olfactory organ"
"So you have a runny nose in your, uh, nose?"
"Precisely. And," I checked my phone again, "aqueous oculus...oculuses...oculinsky...?" The word of the day did not seem to cover latinate pluralities.
"Watery eyes?"
"Perchance," I taunted. I lowered my voice. "I think it might be the albumen."
"The egg white?" he skepticated.
"Yes. NO. Uh, maybe?" I said capriciously.
"So you have a runny nose and egg whites in your watery eyes?" He was looking - I mean oculating - at me oddly, that is, leeringly, no, that's not it, warily.
Yes, warily.
"Well, yes, that's what I speculated," was my retorted. "Except for the egg whites. I'll just need some cold medicine for now."
"You mean nasopharyngitis serum?"
"Watery eyes?"
"Perchance," I taunted. I lowered my voice. "I think it might be the albumen."
"The egg white?" he skepticated.
"Yes. NO. Uh, maybe?" I said capriciously.
"So you have a runny nose and egg whites in your watery eyes?" He was looking - I mean oculating - at me oddly, that is, leeringly, no, that's not it, warily.
Yes, warily.
"Well, yes, that's what I speculated," was my retorted. "Except for the egg whites. I'll just need some cold medicine for now."
"You mean nasopharyngitis serum?"
I paused a moment and resisted the urge to check my phone again.
"That's one way of putting it," I conceded.
"That's one way of putting it," I conceded.
###
Wait, oh yeah, lackluster. That's the word I was looking for.
Thank the Deity I won't experience worriment about that any longer.
Thank the Deity I won't experience worriment about that any longer.
2 comments:
My heartiest approbations on your jocular verbose literary epistle. It wuz gud.
Hi Jim Doug sent me here and I am enjoying your blog. Keep writing! I was talking with my buddy Ray and we were reminidcing about The Comedy Store and your act with JP. You are still funny sir!
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