The Vision Thing

I heard on NPR this morning that the president of Syria is a former eye doctor.

This is not surprising. A lot of politicians seem to be giving you a political eye exam when you try to pin them down.

"Now, Mr. Public, I have several positions on this issue. Tell me which one you agree with most. Number 1 or number 2?"

"Uh, number 2 I guess."

"Alright, now number 2 or number 3?"

"Still number 2, I think..."

"Number 2 or number 4?"

"Maybe number 4 -- but not much difference. Well, maybe..."

"Number 4 or number 2?"

"No, number 4 is a little...."

"Number 4 or number 6?"

"What happend to number 5?"

"Number 5 does not energize my base. Number 6 or number 7?"

"Say, now many positions do you have on this issue?"

"Number 7 or number 88?"

"How can you possibly have 88 positions on one issue?"

"Because I have Vision."

"Okay..."

"I have Focus."

"Yeah, yeah..."

"I'm Farsighted..."

"Enough with the visual metaphors!"

"And if you can't See that..."

"'See'. I get it."

"...then you are Politically Presbyopic ."

"Well, that's where you're wrong, my friend. I'm not Presbyopic ."

"No?"

"No, I'm Episcopalian."

"Get out."